Outcasts

When I first moved to Utah, I realized very quickly that there are two distinct groups here: those who are Mormon and those who are not.  While I was part of the majority, I felt like the minority. I was an outcast in what should have been a familiar setting.  

But Utah is worlds apart from Nebraska.  In Nebraska, being Mormon means you're the minority.  When you talk about how you met your husband on his mission, people have no idea what you're saying.  They don't understand words like, "stake," "ward," "priesthood," "bishopric," or "primary."  In a way, it opened up a window of opportunity to share my beliefs.  You don't get that opportunity in Utah because, even if someone isn't of the LDS faith, they've been around enough Mormons to understand the lingo.  In a way, it is convenient because you don't have to explain everything to everyone.  You say you met your husband on his mission and people understand.  At the same time, it leaves less room to share your beliefs with people. 

People just assume you're Mormon if you're living in Utah.  And if you're not, then there's something wrong with you.  I remember one Sunday in my first ward out in Mendon when the Relief Society president was talking about a new family that had moved into the area.  Before mentioning anything else, she stated bluntly, "They're not Mormon," with a hint of shame in her voice that almost made it sound as if she'd straight up said, "They're going to hell." It was like we had to base whether or not they were accepted on if they believed the LDS faith.  That we had to feel sorry for them because they just didn't have what we have.  I was livid.  

I didn't have that option in Nebraska.  NONE of my friends (save one) were LDS.  Had I been picky and only hung out with Mormon kids, I would have had 4 very lonely years.  But you know what?  I was okay with that.  I was surrounded by Catholics, Protestants, Baptists, Jews; you name it, I had friends who were it.  And I LOVED it.  It opened me up to so many new things.  I loved learning about other faiths.  I never tried to convert my friends and they never tried to convert me.  It was just a mutual understanding that we were happy with what we believed and that was just fine.  We respected each other.  I don't feel like that's an option out here.  If you admit you're not Mormon, it's almost as if people automatically switch into missionary mode and have to tell you about their faith.  That, or they put up a wall, and conclude you're a lost cause.

One of my coworkers, and good friends, is not Mormon (anymore).  She stopped going to church because she just decided it wasn't for her.  I'm sure there are many people out here who judge her for that reason. I'm not one of them.  I know that church is not for everyone.  And I'm not going to tell her she's going to hell.  I'm not going to tell her she's evil or a terrible person.  It is sometimes a breath of fresh air being around her.  She is very blunt and open. She's not like a lot of the stuffy people around here.  It's like being in high school again, where everyone is different, but we still love each other the same.  I hope that Utah continues to bring in people of other faiths for that reason - it's too Mormony.  And people are too cliquey.  Regardless of the commandment, "Love thy neighbor," there is a lot of judgement passed around in Utah.